Megaplex Newsletter 2023 March: Shopping in Sandton

Shopping in Sandton – March 2023

Welcome to Megaplex's monthly newsletter! We alert the up-market shopper to the new and interesting in Sandton and Bryanston. This month we rant about the EFF's attempted shutdown, voting sensibly, Santam, and owl boxes. We have more openings and closings, and a mondegreen (what, again?). As ever, our jokes are good and original, even if the good ones aren't original, and the original ones aren't good! Please feel free to support our advertisers!  To subscribe, see our subscription page.

Welcome ~ New Shops
Restaurant Review ~ Closed
Civic Tip ~ The Checkout

Need a Plumber?
Call Doctor Pipes!

Also waterproofing and
small building alterations.

Under personal supervision of Mark Michalow
SMS, WhatsApp or phone
082 412 5152
email Doctor Pipes

Links to Other Pages:
Megaplex Home – Overview of Shops, Facilities, and Accommodation in Northern Sandton.

Accommodation in Rivonia

Shopping Centres in Sunninghill:
The Square
Sunninghill Village
Sunhill Shopping Centre
Chilli Lane Shopping Centre
Chilli on Top Centre
The Core

Speaking in Public can be Fun!

It's true!  Try Mariswe Toastmasters and see! 
Hybrid meetings (in person & Online) Tue 28 Feb, 11 and 25 April at 18:00. Call or message Rick on 082 389 3482 or email

Shopping Centres in and near Bryanston:
Cramerview Village
Nicolway Shopping Centre
Coachman's Crossing
Grosvenor Crossing
Hobart Grove Centre
Bryanston Shopping Centre
Riverside Shopping Centre
Hurlingham Pick 'n Pay Centre
Bryanpark Shopping Centre
Epsom Downs
Sloane Square

Shopping Centres in the Woodmead area:
Wendywood Centre
Woodmead Value Mart
Woodmead Super Value
Woodmead Commercial Park
Woodmead Retail Park
Woodmead Square
Dunwoody Centre
Woodlands Office Park
Kelvin Village
The Bridge, Buccleuch
Other Shops and Shopping in Woodmead

Non-Religious? Meet other Humanists & Atheists online:

The South African Secular Society (SASS) holds social & educational Meetups online monthly, and some in person. Visit us on Meetup and chat on the Telegram App.

Shopping Centres in Central Sandton::
Grayston Shopping Centre
Atholl Square Shopping Centre
Sandhurst Centre, Rivonia Rd

Shopping in and around Rivonia:
Rivonia Central
Rivonia Village Centre
Rivonia Junction
Mutual Mews
Early Dawn Mall
Shops in Central Rivonia
Shops in Northern Rivonia
Cambridge Crossing
Petervale Shopping Centre

Shopping Centres in
Greater Morningside:

Morningside Shopping Centre
The Wedge, Morningside
Morning Glen Mall
90 Degrees on Rivonia
Morning View
Sandton Court
Benmore Gardens
Shops in the Morningside Area

Be The Special One in a Hundred!

needs blood, but few people donate.

Donate at Design and Décor Centre (near Molly Malones), Forest Road and Sunset Ave, Pineslopes, Sandton: Tel 011 465 6441

Accommodation & Restaurants:
Accommodation in Rivonia,
Restaurants in Rivonia,
Rivonia Restaurant reviews,
Sandton Restaurant reviews,
Morningside Restaurant reviews.

Other Places of Interest:
Sandspruit Hiking Trail,
Ernest Ullmann Park Recreation Centre,
Montrose Nursery Garden Centre and Gia's Coffee Shop.

Not Quite the Shopping News

Julius’s “shutdown” was a damp squib. Despite being carefully timed for the working day between the weekend and the Human Rights Day public holiday. A day when many people took leave to make it a long weekend.

It bodes well for our democracy if the radicals attract minimal support. It is also well for our shopping centres! We remember vividly the looting of July 2021. Many centres and businesses still have to recover. And funny about the lack of convictions…

Are you enjoying load shedding? Is Eskom delighting you, or “de-lighting” you? Things will not get better while we have the looters in power. The ANC leopard cannot change its spots. Nor is the EFF’s failed insurrection how governments change in a democracy. It is time to vote the current bunch out next year; time for other parties to get a chance.

Admittedly the Gauteng municipal coalitions have not covered themselves in glory. But a lot of that is due to obstruction by the ANC. That is another reason it is vital to get them well under 50% next year so that, even with EFF votes, they cannot make a majority.

Who else you vote for in 2024 is up to you.  The only other party with a track record –and it's a good one– is the DA. Unlike the ANC, the DA runs no high- or medium-risk dysfunctional municipalities (2021 source, and 2022 update). Where they govern, they indeed govern better.

Odd Jobs:  Back to top

If you struggle breaking apart computer printouts, are you an inferior decollator?

Do You Use Excel?  Making Mistakes is Easy!

Finding errors is hard! But they can kill your company! In 2012, a London Olympics employee accidentally typed in “20,000” instead of “10,000". The Olympic Committee then sold 10,000 tickets for non-existent seats at minor events. They had to upgrade them to major events —at a loss. Get this FREE report on preventing Excel mistakes..

New on the Block, Movers and Shakers  Back to top

  • Physio Dynamix has moved from Cramerview Village to Block One, Bryanston Gate Office Park, Curzon Road, Bryanston – Physiotherapy. Education, postnatal care, corporate health, sports injuries, spinal health.
  • Cuddlez n Flowers (Kiosk), Lower Level in Morning Glen Mall – Florist with deliveries. On the podium outside Entrance 2 opposite the ATMs. Also in Lonehill.
  • Pick n Pay Clothing, Shop 16, Lower Level in Morning Glen Mall – Clothes for the whole family: shoes, tops, dresses, trousers, shirts, hats, swimming costumes etc. Compliments the range found at the main Pick n Pay.
  • Ice, Ground in Cramerview Village – Snacks and cool drinks.
  • The Man Cave, Shop 23, Ground in Cramerview Village – Men's grooming and products. Also on Facebook & Instagram.
  • Jollof Café, Shop 02, Ground in Cramerview Village – West African restaurant: Nigerian cuisine. Combo Meals, Rice, Breakfast, Swallow (Paps), Soups/Stew, Meat, Fish, Soup, Noodles, Plaintain, Yam, Potato, Beans, Bean Cake, Chops, Sauces, Extras.
  • Bootlegger Coffee Company Grayston Drive, Shop 01A, Ground in Grayston Shopping Centre – Sourced from Central Africa and South America, our beans are 100% sustainably sourced and locally made at our micro-roastery in Woodstock. 100% Rainforest Alliance Certified.
  • Headlines Barbers, Shop 08, Ground in Grayston Shopping Centre – Men's' Hairdresser, in the passage. Threading, nose ear waxing, hot shave, facial, massage.
  • Epsom Thai, Shop 17, Ground in Epsom Downs Shopping Centre – Thai Fusion Restaurant Offering Starters, Sushi, a Raw Bar, Tapas, Meat and Chicken Section, Seafood, Salads, Noodle Bar.
  • Station 12 & Jozi Feast, Shops 14-16, Ground in Epsom Downs Shopping Centre – Cocktail bar and adjacent eatery.

Furnished Morningside Room to Let 1 April 2023

Single Room with shared bathroom in house in Morningside Manor.  Wi-Fi.  Carpeted, fully furnished and serviced including laundry. Close to shops and bus routes.  R3500/month.  Call 082 389 3482, e-mail us, or click here.

Today's Mondegreen

"Sue Lawley".


Correct lyric: "So lonely" from The Police’s "So Lonely".

Santam Insurance: "We Don't Pay, We Hassle" Back to top

There used to be a short-term insurance company whose motto was, "We Don't Hassle, We Pay". Exactly what we hope for when we one day have to claim.

Santam's motto seems to be the exact opposite.

Not for the first time.

Some years back, Megaplex had to claim for a boundary wall that fell down. Santam did their absolute best to avoid paying, blaming the fall on a nearby tree's roots.

Without paying attention, a while ago I let our brokers insure the computer business via Santam. Last year I damaged the car’s wing mirror and needed to claim a replacement. Pretty simple, no?

Not with Santam. First they wanted to know why I had taken more than a month to claim (I was on holiday). They called in their assessors, who sourced a more expensive claim from the company I had gone to. Now they want to scrap the car!

Santam also wants an RC1 (proof of ownership) form, which WesBank say they sent us when the car was paid off. Only they have no proof that it was ever received. But that's a story for the next exciting instalment.

Meanwhile, you might consider whether it is a good idea to pay premiums to a company that does its best to duck out of its claims. Even if its premiums are lower.

Funny Language:

How does one take seriously a language that says "one goose, many geese" but also "one mongoose, many mongooses"?

Do You keep Repeating the Same Actions in Excel?

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Fragged (for the video gamers):  Back to top

  • Merci Flowers & Gifts in Cramerview Village – Florist and gift shop. Still open in Fourways.
  • Pizza Mezza, Shop 02 in Cramerview Village – Restaurant: Mediterranean and Lebanese fusion cuisine. Salads, pizza, calzone, fajita, kebabs, falafel, shwarma, sambousek, pies.
  • Blackboard Eatery, Shop 01A in Grayston Shopping Centre – Take away or sit down. Incredible coffee, scrumptious nibbles. Bar. Pet friendly (no tigers!).
  • The Tan Can, Shop UG3 in Grayston Shopping Centre – Tanning beds and spray-on tan. "The preferred tanning destination in Johannesburg".
  • Bodytec, Shop UG5 in Grayston Shopping Centre – Personal trainer-guided “Electro Muscular Stimulation” (EMS), a full body training exercise using impulse current.
  • Just Gents, Shop 08 in Grayston Shopping Centre – Men's' Hairdresser, in the passage. Threading, nose ear waxing, hot shave, facial, massage.
  • Mexican Fresh, Shop 17 in Epsom Downs Shopping Centre – Mexican food: Tex-Mex cooking – burritos, nachos, fajitas, tacos and quesadillas. Available in vegetarian, beef, chicken or prawn. Chilli can be added.

Advertise in this Monthly e-Newsletter from only R192/month*!

4,604 subscribers, many of them dedicated Sandton Shoppers! e-mail us, or click here. (*Non-top banner for one year paid in advance, includes VAT, less discount)

Disturbing Thought for the Weak:

"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating and religion." –Scott Adams.

Is that an Owl Box up that Tree? Back to top

Owls play an essential role in maintaining the ecological balance of our environment. They help keep rodent populations under control. They reduce the need for harmful pesticides and protect our gardens and crops from insects and rats.

Due to the lack of breeding sites in the urban jungle, owls need help raising chicks. An owl box gives them a suitable nest and a safe place for the chicks. The layer of pea gravel in the box provides a substrate where the female can make a 'cup' in which she can lay her eggs.

EcoSolutions manages the Urban Owl Box Project, now the largest project of its kind in the world. They also run environmental education programmes for schools and Eco-Estates.

Join the 130-odd families who experience owls breeding in their garden each year! Get an owl box installed before the 2023 breeding season gets underway.

You may already have an owl box in your garden, estate or small holding. Please consider the importance of servicing it. An owl box must be cleaned and maintained at least once a year. This ensures that your owl box remains a cosy and hygienic nesting place. It greatly increases the chances of attracting owls to breed in it. Click here to read about what the service entails and why it is essential.

email EcoSolutions or visit EcoSolutions' web site or phone them at 072 365 9777 / 011 791 7326.

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Overheard at the Checkout

"This news report says several people have been stabbed in The Hague!"

"That sounds painful!  But, pardon my ignorance, what part of the body is The Hague?"

Your name in print!  Would you like to contribute a shop- or restaurant review, a less obscure joke, or something else for this Newsletter?  Please e-mail us.  You will get full credit (unless you want anonymity).  Reach 4,604 shoppers and shop-owners: Advertise in this newsletter!  Editor: Rick Raubenheimer.

Back to top – © 2023 Megaplex cc. Privacy Policy.  All rights reserved. Contents may be used for reference purposes, as long as credit is duly given.
Newsletter Issued 28 March 2023 – Page Last Updated: 31 May 2023. – Contact us.