Megaplex Newsletter 2023 April: Shopping in Sandton

Shopping in Sandton – April 2023

Welcome to Megaplex's monthly newsletter! We alert the up-market shopper to the new and interesting in Sandton and Bryanston. Happy Freedom Day (half over), and reduced load shedding!  You have a week left to object to your Joburg municipal rates valuation.  There are shop openings and closings, and attempts at humour to lighten the load (shedding), including Gardening and the strange case of the stray couches at the SPCA.  Feel free to support our advertisers!  To subscribe, see our subscription page.

New Shops
Civic Tip
Shops Closed
Inspiration ~ The Checkout

Need a Plumber?
Call Doctor Pipes!

Also waterproofing and
small building alterations.

Under personal supervision of Mark Michalow
SMS, WhatsApp or phone
082 412 5152
email Doctor Pipes

Links to Other Pages:
Megaplex Home – Overview of Shops, Facilities, and Accommodation in Northern Sandton.

Accommodation in Rivonia

Shopping Centres in Sunninghill:
The Square
Sunninghill Village
Sunhill Shopping Centre
Chilli Lane Shopping Centre
Chilli on Top Centre
The Core

Speak Better
– Make Zoom a Breeze!

Learn online speaking in a relaxed, fun environment at Mariswe Toastmasters:
Meet Tues 28 Feb & 14 Mar at 17:50 for 18:00 on Zoom
or in person in Bryanston. WhatsApp Rick on 082 389 3482 or email

Shopping Centres in and near Bryanston::
Cramerview Village
Nicolway Shopping Centre
Coachman's Crossing
Grosvenor Crossing
Hobart Grove Centre
Bryanston Shopping Centre
Riverside Shopping Centre
Hurlingham Pick 'n Pay Centre
Bryanpark Shopping Centre
Epsom Downs
Sloane Square

Shopping Centres in the Woodmead area:
Wendywood Centre
Woodmead Value Mart
Woodmead Super Value Centre
Woodmead Commercial Park
Woodmead Retail Park
Woodmead Square
Dunwoody Centre
Kelvin Village
The Bridge, Buccleuch
Other Shops and Shopping in Woodmead

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Shopping Centres in Central Sandton:
Grayston Shopping Centre
Atholl Square Shopping Centre
Sandhurst Centre, Rivonia Rd

Shopping in and around Rivonia:
Rivonia Central
Rivonia Village Centre
Rivonia Junction
Mutual Mews
Early Dawn Mall
Shops in Central Rivonia
Shops in Northern Rivonia
Cambridge Crossing
Petervale Shopping Centre

Shopping Centres in
Greater Morningside:

Morningside Shopping Centre
The Wedge, Morningside
Morning Glen Mall
90 Degrees on Rivonia
Morning View
Sandton Court
Benmore Gardens
Shops in the Morningside Area

Almost all of us will one day need a blood transfusion

– Yet only 1% of people donate blood!

Make a difference to society! Donate at The Colony,  cor Jan Smuts & Rothesay Avenues, Craighall.  Phone:
011 447-6665
011 880-4994

Accommodation & Restaurants:
Accommodation in Rivonia,
Restaurants in Rivonia,
Rivonia Restaurant reviews,
Sandton Restaurant reviews,
Morningside Restaurant reviews.

Other Places of Interest:
Sandspruit Hiking Trail,
Ernest Ullmann Park Recreation Centre,
Montrose Nursery Garden Centre and Gia's Coffee Shop

Furnished Morningside Room to Let 1 July 2023

Single Room with private bathroom in house in Morningside Manor.  Wi-Fi.  Newly carpeted, fully furnished and serviced including laundry. Close to shops and bus routes.  R4500/month.  Call 082 389 3482, e-mail us, or click here.

Your City is Your Enemy!

The city of Johannesburg municipal rates valuation is open. You have only a few days more to object if you wish to. Objections close at 15:00 on Friday 5 May 2023. Unless you object, the valuation stands for the next 4 to 5 years.

This is going to affect you whether or not you own a property. If you are renting, then your landlord is going to have to put up your rent to cover their exorbitant rates rise. (Your only alternative is to move out of the city, which might be a good idea).

May we suggest that you go and check as a matter of urgency if you haven't already?  If you are renting then please ask your landlord to make sure that they have checked their rates valuation!

You can check at this web address.  If you don't have a login already, you must create  one (and confirm your email address).  Search for the property by suburb, stand (Erf) number, and street address (plus Scheme Name and Unit No. for sectional title) and link it to your profile.

We went to check and were livid to see that our new assessed property value is nearly double the previous valuation (up 88%, to be exact).

We put in an online objection and made an outrageous discovery: one cannot copy and paste into their objection form!  They force you to retype everything, even if you already have a copy on your computer. This is not something that happens on a web form by default, it must be specifically programmed. That means that the city of Joburg is deliberately and maliciously obstructing ratepayers objections!

Nevertheless, we soldiered on and several hours later submitted the objection. We suggest you do likewise.

Another little trap in their user-hostile system is that, at the end of the objection, you can only attach one document. Any later PDF replaces the previous one.  But they do display an Acknowledgement.  Make sure you download it!  It has your objection number and PIN to use when uploading further evidence, for which they allow only 48 hours.  Of course, they don't tell you how to do it!

Here's how: Log in again. .In the middle of the top of the webpage is a menu, represented by three horizontal lines. Click it, and there is an item "Upload Documents". Click it and choose "Objection Uploads".  You have to do them one at a time, too, so it's good to put all you can into few documents.

As in previous years, the amount of detail for an objection is extensive.  They don't tell you beforehand what they will want (of course).  The good news, if any, is that the website doesn't time out.  We had the 8 pages of the objection form up for most of the day.  It's not clear that it will save any of your laborious  typing  if you leave in the middle.

We have long and painful experience with the City of Joburg's insane valuations.  A point to note is that their valuers ignore values given by estate agents. You might think that estate agents, intimately involved with house sales, could give an accurate estimate.  But no, the valuers on the City's board expect you to pay a qualified Valuer.  This must be Job Reservation for valuers.  Despite the fact the they have probably never sold a property for anyone else. And if the City valuers thumbsuck an 88% increase in a declining market, their system is obviously broken and their competence suspect.

Be warned!  The City of Joburg is not your friend!  While providing the least possible services, on top of the 4.85% increase in Rates tariffs on 1 July 2023, they will extort the maximum with sky-high property valuations!  If you disagree with the valuation of your property on the GVR-2023 roll, but do not object by 15:00 on 5 May, you could be paying astronomical rates!

Odd Jobs:  Back to top

It's sad to be a dentist.  You're always looking down in the mouth.

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Little Life Hack #1: Cutting your nails more easily

Let's give the Mondegreens a rest this month, and start a new series.

As we get older, our finger- and particularly toe nails can get tough and hard to cut.  What can be done?

Cut your nails right after you bath or shower: They will be softer and easier to trim.

New on the Block, Movers and Shakers  Back to top

  • Silver Fit has left Ernest Ullmann Park Recreation Centre and now operates at Rivonia Catholic Church, Pineslopes, and Northiriding. Group Exercise Classes for Older Adults! Improve your mobility, flexibility, balance and strength. Various class days and times at 3 venues.
  • Phil O’Mahony Interiors has moved from Nicolway Bryanston to 4c Appel Rd, Kramerville, near Wendywood Shopping Centre – Interior designer and decorator with over forty years experience in classical and contemporary decorating in South Africa and abroad.
  • SOMA - School of Makeup Artistry, Rivonia Road North in Rivonia North Shops – Specialized makeup artistry training to equip aspiring makeup artists with the necessary skills. At 7 Spring Street, Rivonia, Sandton.
  • Apothecary, 1st Floor in Rivonia Village – Coffee, tea, chocolate, ice blends, smoothies, syrup, CBD and cannabis-related products, "holistic supplements". Fit24 members get 10% off.
  • Asky Pan African Airline, Shop FF09, 1st Floor in Rivonia Village – Travel Agents. Discounted flight offers. Flights Johannesburg to Abidjan, Abuja, Accra, Bamako, Bangui, Banjul, Bissau, Brazzaville, Cotonou, Conakry, Dakar, Douala, and Sao Tome.
  • Lumiere, Shop FF12, 1st Floor in Rivonia Village – Nails, nail enhancements, Nail art. Manicures, Pedicures.
  • Kumon Rivonia Study Centre, Shop FF15, 1st Floor in Rivonia Village – The mission of Kumon is to aid mainstream education with an individualized program that nurtures capable people. Class Hours: Tues, Wed, Thursday 13:00-18:00, Sat.10:00-15:00.
  • GalaToh, Shop FF16, 1st Floor in Rivonia Village – Cone Ice Cream, Ice Cream Cakes and milkshakes. Cream Liqueur Ice Cream flavours: Marula, Strawberry, Milk Tart, Chocolate Whiskey, Russian Vodka, Gin, Rum Raspberry, more.
  • Queenspark, Shop GF50, Ground in Rivonia Village – Founded in 1980 and opened here on 8 April 2023, a leading store specialising in elegant, fashionable womenswear, menswear and accessories with timeless designs.
  • G-upside-down-R-K, Shop 05, Ground in Rivonia Village – Modern Greek eatery: Gyros, chicken burgers, prawns, wraps. Beep, chicken vegetable, lamb. Pita, dips, meals, salads.
  • Kauai The Wedge, Lower Level in The Wedge, Morningside – Healthy Fast Food. Juice Restaurant & Coffee Shop. Wraps, Salads, Sandwiches, Freshly Squeezed Juice.
  • About Cats & Dogs, Shop L29, Lower Level in Nicolway Bryanston – Pet products: Pet food, beds, leads, harnesses, food bowls. No pets, though.
  • TechFix & Gadgets, Lower Level in Nicolway Bryanston – We repair all major brands of Smart Phones, Tablets, Microwave ovens, Bluetooth Speakers, Hi-fi Systems, TVs, and More, Leave it to the experts.
  • Waxit, Shop L34, Lower Level in Nicolway Bryanston – Waxing and special treatments for female, male, teen. Threading. Brows.
  • Miladys, Shop L40, Lower Level in Nicolway Bryanston – Women's clothing, fashion, shoes, underwear, beauty and accessories. Some men's clothes.
  • Goodness Gracious, Shop L49, Lower Level in Nicolway Bryanston – Big variety of pre-prepared frozen meals suitable for microwave or oven.
  • Iconomy, Shop L11, Lower Level in Nicolway Bryanston – Locally designed furniture, lighting and home decor products. Tables and Chairs. Gifts. Mirrors. Cushions, Rugs. Lights.
  • Clicks, Shop L15, Lower Level in Nicolway Bryanston – Pharmacy: Cosmetics, Make-up, Health products, Homeware, Cleaning equipment, Appliances, Beauty products.
  • The Daily Coffee Café Nicolway, Shop L15A, Lower Level in Nicolway Bryanston – Coffee shop franchise, South African with an international flair, Halaal.
  • Cell Solution (Kiosk), Lower Level in Nicolway Bryanston – Outside Dischem. Cell Phone Repairing, Accessories Like Chargers, Batteries, Hands Free, Data Cables, Screen Protectors, Covers, Wireless Chargers, Car Chargers, Gadgets, Headsets, Gadgets & More.

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Gardening with Brig. (Ret'd) "Nuke" Killer, ex military

Question: Goldfish are disappearing from my pond.  I think fish-eating birds are catching them.  What can I do?

Answer: Personally, I find that a few judicious thunderflashes borrowed from the nearby military base send pesky birds away holding their eardrums.  Remember to take your hearing aid out before using them!  Now I just need to do something about the noise complaints from the neighbours across the valley.

Thought for the Week:

If you pray for rain long enough, it eventually does fall. If you pray for floodwaters to abate, they eventually do. The same happens in the absence of prayers. -Steve Allen, television host, musician, actor, comedian, and writer (1921-2000) .

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Gave up the Ghost:  Back to top

  • Tammy Taylor Nails, Shop FF12 in Rivonia Village – Waxing Body Massages, feet treatments, Acrylic/Gel nail enhancements, Nail art, tints, lacquer, Manicures, Pedicures. Was 1st Floor.
  • Global Photographic Training, Shop FF15 in Rivonia Village – Photographic courses: Basic, Intermediate, Advanced. Adobe Photoshop, Flash, studio lighting, Specialised courses.
  • Regalia Tailor, Shop FF16 in Rivonia Village – Clothing made to order. Alterations.
  • Minuteman Press in Rivonia Village – Printers. Full service printing & copy centre, Brochures, Letterheads, Business cards, Rubber Stamps, Graphics designs. Was 1st Floor.
  • Step Ahead, Shop GF50 in Rivonia Village – Ladies' Shoes. Leather Shoes, Evening Sandals, Canvas Shoes.
  • Jeauval Fusion, Shop L29 in Nicolway Bryanston – Hair Salon, "at the forefront of hair care and styling for over 20 years". Was Lower Level.
  • Mr Pet, Shop L34 in Nicolway Bryanston – "A pet shop with a difference". For all your pets and pet requirements. Find Mr Pet products at Was Lower Level.
  • Go Oral Care, Shop L49 in Nicolway Bryanston – Tooth alignment (Invisalign by Hugo Orthodontics}, teeth whitening, teeth sensitivity, fissure sealing, bad breath, teeth cleaning. Was Lower Level.
  • Azaura Jewellery, Shop L11 in Nicolway Bryanston – Signature silver jewellery: bracelets, earrings, necklaces and rings. Brands: ARZ Steel, Calvin Klein, Daniel Wellington, Georgini, Hamilton, Longines, Nomination Italy, Qudo, Save Brave, Shiroko, Stacker.
  • Dion Wired, Shop L15 in Nicolway Bryanston – Electronic Equipment. Home electronics. Computers, printers, cellular, hi-fi. Was Lower Level.
  • Melt Chocolates, Shop L17 in Nicolway Bryanston – Confectionery & Treats. Belgian Chocolates, Turkish Delights, Jams, Dessert Relishes, Glassware, Diabetic Confectionary. Was Lower Level.
  • Rugs Original, Shop L20 in Nicolway Bryanston – Large stockist of Persian, Oriental and modern Belgian carpets and rugs.
  • Gienius Smart Store (Kiosk) in Nicolway Bryanston – Outside Dischem. Repairs to iPhone, iPad, Samsung, Nokia, Blackberry and Sony phones, tablets. Accessories. Gaming consoles. Hi-tech gadgets. Was Lower Level.

You Know You're South African when...

You look back with nostalgia to the "good old days" of Load Shedding Stages 1 and 2.

Advertise in this Monthly e-Newsletter from only R192/month*!

4,557 subscribers, many of them dedicated Sandton Shoppers! e-mail us, or click here.
(*Non-top banner for one year paid in advance, includes VAT, less discount)

The SPCA takes in Stray Furniture

Our cat, Raucous, peed on our couch. Repeatedly. Last week we gave it away to the SPCA.  Not the cat.  The couch. It might have been more sensible to rather give the cat away, but we are quite fond of her.

We actually gave away two matching tartan couches. The other one had an armrest damaged by a tenant. No matter, the Sandton SPCA took them both.

Now, you might say, I’ve never seen at the SPCA, sitting in one of their cages, looking lost and forlorn and begging for a home, a tartan couch. Or any furniture at all...

In fact, they clean them up and resell them for SPCA funds. So, if you have furniture that you want to get rid of, phone the Sandton SPCA at 011 444 7730 and they will collect promptly. They also take books.

I am not sure how far this service extends. If, for example, you have a boyfriend, husband or wife that you no longer have a use for I don't know if you can donate them to the SPCA.  You will have to find out for yourself.

If you aren't using it anymore, give it away!

I'd like to recommend to you the practice of giving away things you aren't using anymore. I'm sure you can think of some.

Starting at the top, one thing we aren't using and can probably give away to a deserving Cause (like Sudan) is our president Mr Ramaphosa. We certainly aren't using him to the full –if at all.

Or what about our new Johannesburg Mayor? Oh, wait a minute, we've just lost him: he resigned!

Overheard at the Checkout

"Did you know that the Netherlands is in Benoni?"

"Oh, come on: that's geographically impossible!"

"Not if they're a cricket team!"

Your name in print!  Would you like to contribute a tip, a less obscure joke, or something else for this Newsletter?  Please e-mail us.  You will get full credit (unless you want anonymity).  Reach 4,557 shoppers and shop-owners: Advertise in this newsletter!  Editor: Rick Raubenheimer.

Back to top – ©2022 Megaplex cc. Privacy Policy.  All rights reserved. Contents may be used for reference purposes, as long as credit is duly given.
Newsletter Issued 28 April 2023 – Page Last Updated: 27 April 2023. – Contact us.