Megaplex Newsletter 2023 September: Shopping in Sandton - Winnie Mandela Drive, Shop changes, supplements coupon, mondegreen, inspirational and caustic comments, jokes...

Shopping in Sandton – September 2023

Welcome to Megaplex's monthly newsletter! We alert the up-market shopper to the new and interesting in Sandton and Bryanston. Below we have our biased political rant, changes in Morningside, another Mondegreen, and other caustic comments. Get 5% off anti-aging and other supplements with our coupon code.  Our jokes are good and original, even if the good ones aren't original, and the original ones aren't good!  Feel free to support our advertisers!  To subscribe, see our subscription page.

Welcome ~ New Shops
Inspiration ~ Closed
Civic Tip ~ The Checkout

Need a Plumber?
Call Doctor Pipes!

Also waterproofing and
small building alterations.

Under personal supervision of Mark Michalow
SMS, WhatsApp or phone
082 412 5152
email Doctor Pipes

Links to Other Pages:
Megaplex Home – Overview of Shops, Facilities, and Accommodation in Northern Sandton.

Accommodation in Rivonia

Shopping Centres in Sunninghill:
The Square
Sunninghill Village
Sunhill Shopping Centre
Chilli Lane Shopping Centre
Chilli on Top Centre
The Core

Speaking in Public can be Easy & Fun!

Morningside Toastmasters meets 2nd & 4th Thursday of the month, 17:45 for 18:00 17:45 in person at the Morningside Country Club. Next: Thu 12 & 26 October. Call or message Rick on 082 389 3482 or email

Shopping Centres in and near Bryanston:
Cramerview Village
Nicolway Shopping Centre
Coachman's Crossing
Grosvenor Crossing
Hobart Grove Centre
Bryanston Shopping Centre
Riverside Shopping Centre
Hurlingham Pick 'n Pay Centre
Bryanpark Shopping Centre
Epsom Downs
Sloane Square

Shopping Centres in the Woodmead area:
Wendywood Centre
Woodmead Value Mart
Woodmead Super Value
Woodmead Commercial Park
Woodmead Retail Park
Woodmead Square
Dunwoody Centre
Woodlands Office Park
Kelvin Village
The Bridge, Buccleuch
Other Shops and Shopping in Woodmead

Non-Religious? Meet other Humanists & Atheists online:

The South African Secular Society (SASS) holds social & educational Meetups online monthly, and some in person. Visit us on Meetup and chat on the Telegram App.

Shopping Centres in Central Sandton::
Grayston Shopping Centre
Atholl Square Shopping Centre
Sandhurst Centre, Rivonia Rd

Shopping in and around Rivonia:
Rivonia Central
Rivonia Village Centre
Rivonia Junction
Mutual Mews
Early Dawn Mall
Shops in Central Rivonia
Shops in Northern Rivonia
Cambridge Crossing
Petervale Shopping Centre

Shopping Centres in
Greater Morningside:

Morningside Shopping Centre
The Wedge, Morningside
Morning Glen Mall
90 Degrees on Rivonia
Morning View
Sandton Court
Benmore Gardens
Shops in the Morningside Area

Be The Special One in a Hundred!

needs blood, but few people donate.

Donate at Design and Décor Centre (near Molly Malones), Forest Road and Sunset Ave, Pineslopes, Sandton: Tel 011 465 6441

Accommodation & Restaurants:
Accommodation in Rivonia,
Restaurants in Rivonia,
Rivonia Restaurant reviews,
Sandton Restaurant reviews,
Morningside Restaurant reviews.

Other Places of Interest:
Sandspruit Hiking Trail,
Ernest Ullmann Park Recreation Centre,
Montrose Nursery Garden Centre and Gia's Coffee Shop.

ANC Road Renaming Demonstrates Desperation

The ANC-EFF-controlled City of Johannesburg must have money to burn.  And nothing worthwhile to spend it on.  On Tuesday it renamed William Nicol Drive to “Winnie Mandela Drive”. They could have done it on Monday. But one can hardly expect politicians to work on a public holiday. Not when they can cause maximum traffic disruption on a working day.

And why not rename a highway after Winnie Mandela, that great civil engineer and road builder?  –A bridge builder too, building bridges with anyone who agreed with her. Who can forget, “with our necklaces and our boxes of matches we will 'liberate' this country”?  And the murder of Stompie Seipei for which she never accounted?

Not that William Nicol was a saint either...

Unlike Nelson Mandela, after whom much of the country is now named, Winnie was not one for reconciliation. Not surprising considering how the Apartheid government treated her.  But Nelson managed.  That he divorced her should tell us something.  She was controversial.  And this renaming is controversial.  Is this a message that the days of reconciliation are over?  That the ANC is battening down the hatches for the election?  Is it calling the faithful into the laager? (sorry, poor metaphor)

Sadly, the ANC seems incapable of building new infrastructure: take the fiascos that are Medupi and Kusile. All they can do, is to take existing infrastructure and rename it.  No doubt some well-connected cadre will have the tender for the street name signs.

As Winnie Mandela Drive, will it be better maintained?  Unlikely!  The condition of the infrastructure renamed after Beyers Naude, Bram Fischer, Charlotte Maxeke, Chris Hani and Malibongwe Gcwabe* is no tribute to them.

Winnie Mandela already has a squalid squatter camp named after her. Isn't that more appropriate than a highway that still works?

If you disagree, please understand that I am just doing what thousands of runners, cyclists and motorists will be doing daily from now on:

Running down Winnie Mandela Drive.

(* Not really. Just keeping you on your toes!)

Odd Jobs:  Back to top

Illegal mining is a problem in South Africa.

Should we ask Ukraine for some demining experts?

Do You Use Excel?  Making Mistakes is Easy!

Finding errors is hard! But they can kill your company! In 2012, a London Olympics employee accidentally typed in “20,000” instead of “10,000". The Olympic Committee then sold 10,000 tickets for non-existent seats at minor events. They had to upgrade them to major events —at a loss. Get this FREE report on preventing Excel mistakes..

New on the Block, Movers and Shakers  Back to top

This month focuses heavily on Morningview Shopping Centre on South Road, Morningside.  It had been a while since our last visit.  Much has changed, including three new restaurants.  This vibrant local centre still has two vacant shops for the discerning to snap up.

  • GP Cellular moved from shop 09A to Shop 05, Ground in Morningview Shopping Centre – Cellphones. Cellphone repairs while you wait. Accessories. Computer repairs and accessories.
  • Kurano Sushi Asian Food, Shop 07, Ground in Morningview Shopping Centre – Soup, spring roll, dim sum, sushi, platters, tofu, stir fry, Thai curry, teriyaki, chop suey, chow mein, noodles. Free Wi-Fi.
  • Zaika Indian Restaurant, Shop 09, Ground in Morningview Shopping Centre – Indian and Indo-Chinese food. Bunny Chow, roti rolls, chaat, tandoori dishes, curries: vegetable, soya, chicken, lamb, seafood. Rice, biryani. Dessert, beverages, lassi.
  • Kodak Image and Print, Shop 08C, Ground in Morningview Shopping Centre – Print, copies, email, photo enlargements, ID/licence/visa photos, canvas and large format; vehicle wrap and magnets; national courier service; stickers of all sizes; framing; business printing.
  • Bella Vida Beauty Bar, Shop 09D, Ground in Morningview Shopping Centre – Salon specialising in ethnic hair and beauty. Nails, hair. Lashes. Make-up.
  • Trendzz Hair & Beauty, Shop 09B, Ground in Morningview Shopping Centre – Unisex Salon. Ladies', gents' and kid's haircut. Shave, threading, waxing, colour, roots, facial, head massage, highlights.,.
  • Jane-Doe Ink, Shop 09A, Ground in Morningview Shopping Centre – Tattoos and piercings. Painful to get, worse to remove. Permanent makeup, micro needling, skin peels, microblading, laser tattoo removal.
  • The Harv Table, Shop 11/24, Ground in Morningview Shopping Centre – Restaurant, replaced Ocean Basket: Breakfast, Light meals, Starters, Curry Pot, on the Grill, Signature Dishes, African Table.

  • Vilai-Lai Thai Massage Gary Avenue, in Morningside Area Shops – Massage & therapy treatments to leave you relaxed and invigorated - Traditional Thai, Aromatherapy, Herbal Compress. Corner of Kelvin Drive & Gary Avenue (entrance), Morningside Manor, Sandton.
  • Car Wash @ Wendywood Shopping Centre, Ground in Wendywood Shopping Centre – No details available, but still functioning.

Furnished Morningside Room to Let 1 October 2023

Single Room with shared bathroom in house in Morningside Manor.  Wi-Fi.  Carpeted, fully furnished and serviced including laundry. Close to shops and bus routes.  R3500/month.  Call 082 389 3482, e-mail us, or click here.

Today's Mondegreen

“I can see clearly now, Lorraine is gone”.


Correct lyric:

“I can see clearly now, the rain is gone” from Johnny Nash’s ‘I can see clearly now’.

Promises, Promises...

Every time you make a promise you don't intend to keep, every time you break a promise, you send your subconscious and everyone around you a message that you are an unreliable person, and cannot be trusted.

Every time you make a promise you know is realistic, and then keep it, you send your subconscious and those around you a message that you are a worthy, reliable person, whose word can be trusted.

But Life happens.  We cannot always keep our promises. What then?

Every time you cannot keep a promise, and do nothing about it, hoping the other person didn't notice (hint: they do!) you send your subconscious and those around you a message that you are an unreliable person, who cannot be trusted.

Every time you find you cannot keep a promise, and immediately tell the person you promised, apologise, and make a new promise you can keep, you send your subconscious and those around you a message that you are a worthy, reliable person, whose word can be trusted.

Thus, over time, you become known as, either a worthless liar and subhuman trash, or a person of high integrity whose word is law in the Universe.

Which do you want?

[by Rick Raubenheimer]

You know you're in South Africa when...

In response to the high crime rate, people say "We need more boots on the ground!"

The Gauteng Department of Community Safety promptly issues a tender for 10,000 pairs of boots.

Do You keep Repeating the Same Actions in Excel?

Stop wasting precious time! Save an hour or more a week: Get your life back. How? Learn simple Macros: Record the repetitive action once, repeat it fast with a single keystroke whenever needed! This quick course will get you started fast: Read more here.

Having a Hamlet Sleep:  Back to top

Advertise in this Monthly e-Newsletter from only R192/month*!

4,457 subscribers, many of them dedicated Sandton Shoppers! e-mail us, or click here. (*Non-top banner for one year paid in advance, includes VAT, less discount)

Thought for the Day:

The World Health Organization has designated today, 28 September, as World Rabies Day.

Remember to bite somebody.

Congratulations to the World-Class City of Johannesburg!

On 15 July I reported the flattened fire hydrant in Kelvin Drive opposite Morning Glen Mall, Gallo Manor, to Joburg Connect on 011 375 5555.  The Service Request (No. 8006048544) was later closed as "completed", even though nothing was done (not for the first time, either).

I reported it again on 3 August (Ref. 8006077352).  Work began around 29 August (note the lack of any barrier around the hole).  Around 11 September, repairs were completed .  That's if "completed" is the right description for a hydrant at a jaunty angle, and low enough to trip over!  We should probably be grateful that anything was done at all...

John Steenhuisen says, "There is no ribbon-cutting ceremony for unblocking a sewer." – but maybe this event needs some sort of celebration!

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Overheard at the Checkout

"This news report says there was a serious collision between Barberton and Kaapmuiden."

"Aren't they far enough apart to miss each other?"

Your name in print!  Would you like to contribute a shop- or restaurant review, a less obscure joke, or something else for this Newsletter?  Please e-mail us.  You will get full credit (unless you want anonymity).  Reach 4,457 shoppers and shop-owners: Advertise in this newsletter!  Editor: Rick Raubenheimer.

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Newsletter Issued 28 September 2023 – Page Last Updated: 28 September 2023. – Contact us.