Megaplex Newsletter 2023 November: Shopping in Sandton - 90%-Off Black Friday Special, shopping centre find, Mondegreen, Shop changes, supplements coupon, jokes, inspiration and caustic comments...

Shopping in Sandton – November 2023

Welcome to Megaplex's monthly newsletter! We alert the up-market shopper to the new and interesting in Sandton and Bryanston. Below we have our latest shopping centre find, another Mondegreen, a 90%-Off Black Friday Special, and some more caustic comments. Get 5% off anti-aging and other supplements with our coupon code.  Our jokes are good and original, even if the good ones aren't original, and the original ones aren't good!  Feel free to support our advertisers!  To subscribe, see our subscription page.


Contents:
Welcome ~ New Shops
Inspiration ~ Closed
Civic Tip ~ The Checkout

Need a Plumber?
Call Doctor Pipes!

Also waterproofing and
small building alterations.

Under personal supervision of Mark Michalow
SMS, WhatsApp or phone
082 412 5152
 
email Doctor Pipes

Links to Other Pages:
Megaplex Home – Overview of Shops, Facilities, and Accommodation in Northern Sandton.

Accommodation in Rivonia

Shopping Centres in Sunninghill:
The Square
Sunninghill Village
Sunhill Shopping Centre
Chilli Lane Shopping Centre
Chilli on Top Centre
The Core

Is English not your First Language?

Practice it at a Supportive Place!

Morningside Toastmasters meets 2nd & 4th Thursday of the month, 18:00 for 18:15 in person at the Morningside Country Club. Next: Thu 23 November. Call or message Rick on 082 389 3482 or email

Shopping Centres in and near Bryanston:
Cramerview Village
Nicolway Shopping Centre
Coachman's Crossing
Grosvenor Crossing
Hobart Grove Centre
Bryanston Shopping Centre
Riverside Shopping Centre
Hurlingham Pick 'n Pay Centre
Bryanpark Shopping Centre
Epsom Downs
Sloane Square

Shopping Centres in the Woodmead area:
Wendywood Centre
Woodmead Value Mart
Woodmead Super Value
Woodmead Commercial Park
Woodmead Retail Park
Woodmead Square
Dunwoody Centre
Woodlands Office Park
Kelvin Village
The Bridge, Buccleuch
Other Shops and Shopping in Woodmead

Non-Religious? Meet other Humanists & Atheists online:

The South African Secular Society (SASS) holds social & educational Meetups online monthly, and some in person. Visit us on Meetup and chat on the Telegram App.

Shopping Centres in Central Sandton:
Grayston Shopping Centre
Atholl Square Shopping Centre
Sandhurst Centre, Rivonia Rd

Shopping in and around Rivonia:
Rivonia Central
Rivonia Village Centre
Rivonia Junction
Mutual Mews
Early Dawn Mall
Shops in Central Rivonia
Shops in Northern Rivonia
Cambridge Crossing
Petervale Shopping Centre

Shopping Centres in
Greater Morningside:

Morningside Shopping Centre
The Wedge, Morningside
Morning Glen Mall
90 Degrees on Rivonia
Morning View
Sandton Court
Benmore Gardens
Shops in the Morningside Area

Be The Special One in a Hundred!

Everyone
needs blood, but few people donate.

Donate at Design and Décor Centre (near Molly Malones), Forest Road and Sunset Ave, Pineslopes, Sandton: Tel 011 465 6441

Accommodation & Restaurants:
Accommodation in Rivonia,
Restaurants in Rivonia,
Rivonia Restaurant reviews,
Sandton Restaurant reviews,
Morningside Restaurant reviews.

Other Places of Interest:
Sandspruit Hiking Trail,
Ernest Ullmann Park Recreation Centre,
Montrose Nursery Garden Centre and Gia's Coffee Shop.

A Visit to Riverclub Shopping Centre (or Poplar-On-Park?)

It has been a long time since we visited this little shopping centre.  It nestles in the heart of River Club, at 17 Poplar Road, corner Northleigh Crescent, just off Sycamore Road. It has a lovely restaurant, a friendly coffee shop, and several other businesses.  A major drawcard is the large adjacent municipal park.

Since our previous visit the centre has been revamped.  They have added street parking and built a deck along the side of the centre overlooking the park.  There is now a passage to access the deck and the park from the parking lot.  Three tenants remain from before: Kumon (scholar tuition), Performance Purist (a gym), and WinWin (a training company).  New –to us, anyway– are the hairdressers, Beethoven coffee shop, and the spacious main restaurant, Nice on Poplar.

The centre may now be Poplar Place Shopping Centre or Poplar-On-Park, Google Maps isn't sure.  And the centre has no signage to confirm a name change.  But there is a web site for Poplar-On-Park, which lists the businesses.  They say:

"Adjacent to the Riverclub Park (called Poplar-Park by the neighbourhood). This community based lifestyle centre welcomes a diverse group of people from the Bryanston, Duxbury, Sandton, Morningside, Riverclub neighbourhoods and beyond. Our community comprises freelancers, business owners, parents, outdoor enthusiasts, animal lovers and passionate creatives. Our community is who we are here for.

"Our Vision for Poplar-On-Park: The new owner and the community have plans to repurpose the centre and the park to become a unique, community-focused lifestyle centre. We have big dreams for the space and there is a lot the community can get involved with to make Riverclub the best neighbourhood."

Some of those dreams include regular community events at the park.  They have:

  • Food and Craft Market on the 1st Saturday of every month: a morning of good food, coffee and local goods.
  • Blood Donation Drive (previous: 4 November 2023, 09:00-17:00, more to come in 2024).
  • Halloween, that dubious import from the USA.
  • Christmas Carols, 10 December 2023, 16:00-19:00.

This is the first shopping centre we have seen that requires reverse parking. Not that everyone honours it.  I wondered why. Robin at Beethoven Coffee suggested that it tied in with the community orientation. People working at the market could unpack their car boot on the sidewalk instead of in the parking. It would be friendlier to children, since people would not be reversing out blindly before leaving.  Overall, it sounds like a good idea.  It might just tax those of us who have not reverse parked since our driving test!

Odd Jobs:  Back to top

If a Catholic from the Transkei loses his way, what should he do?

Pray to Saint Jude –the patron saint of lost Xhosas.

Do You Use Excel?  Making Mistakes is Easy!

Finding errors is hard! But they can kill your company! In 2012, a London Olympics employee accidentally typed in “20,000” instead of “10,000". The Olympic Committee then sold 10,000 tickets for non-existent seats at minor events. They had to upgrade them to major events —at a loss. Get this FREE report on preventing Excel mistakes..

New on the Block, Movers and Shakers  Back to top

  • IV Bar has moved from Shop 16 in Bryanston Shopping Centre to Shop U30A, Upper Level in Nicolway Bryanston as of 1 November – Intravenous vitamin therapy, a way to give you expensive pee.
  • 8292 Jiu Jitsu & Bulletproof Café, Shop H1, Upper Level in Hobart Grove Centre – Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Mixed Martial Arts. Yoga. Adults and kids. Memberships, free trial or drop-in. Jiu Jitsu is great self-defence and assists with anti-bullying.
  • athi health and fitness, Shop H03, Upper Level in Hobart Grove Centre – African fitness and lifestyle clothing. Make and sell quality activewear and casual wear. All products designed and manufactured in South Africa.
  • Pressed In Time, Shop 07B, Lower Level in Bryanston Shopping Centre – Dry cleaning city, tailoring, laundry, dyeing, shoe repairs, curtain cleaning.
  • The Collective, Lower Level in Bryanston Shopping Centre – Bin to donate your old clothes and create jobs. PBO#93005229. They collect, sort and redistribute second-hand clothing to disadvantaged women, who on-sell it - creating sustainable businesses.
  • Laffa Schawarma, Shop 02A, Lower Level in Bryanston Shopping Centre – Build your own Schwarma with beef, chicken, falafel or cheese. Salad bowls, platters, wraps, family meals, chips, breakfast, dessert, juice.
  • The Landmark, Shop 89, Upper Level in Bryanston Shopping Centre – Fully licensed bar in Café del Sol Botanico.
  • Dazz Beauty Salon, Shop 32, Upper Level in Bryanston Shopping Centre – Beauty parlour,.
  • Rage, Shop 36, Upper Level in Bryanston Shopping Centre – Ladies' shoes and clothing, some jewellery. They aren't as cross as they sound. Rage offers accounts and gift cards.
  • Yamada Sushi, Shop 41, Upper Level in Bryanston Shopping Centre – Sushi buffet bar and Teppanyaki Japanese Restaurant.
  • Cassie's Café, Shop 42, Upper Level in Bryanston Shopping Centre – Breakfast & brunch restaurant. Your exclusive coffee stop.
  • Marshall Barbers, Shop 45, Upper Level in Bryanston Shopping Centre – Haircuts, grooming and shaving, nails for men and women, facials. Weekly special for pensioners and teenagers (ages 13-19) 20% off all services every Monday–Thursday.
  • Melt Hair and Beauty Lounge, in Riverclub Shopping Centre.
  • Beethoven Coffee Co., in Riverclub Shopping Centre – Espresso Bar serving tasty coffee and sweet treats every day.
  • Nice on Poplar, in Riverclub Shopping Centre – A hidden gem! Breakfast & brunch restaurant: Dine in and outdoor seating on the deck. Licensed.
  • Modo Mio at The Don near Riverclub Shopping Centre – Italian restaurant situated in River Club at 99 Ballyclare Drive next to the Total Garage. Outdoor seating, Roadside collection.

Furnished Morningside Room to Let 1 January 2024

Single Room with shared bathroom in house in Morningside Manor.  Wi-Fi.  Carpeted, fully furnished and serviced including laundry. Close to shops and bus routes.  R4000/month.  Call 082 389 3482, e-mail us, or click here.

Today's Mondegreen

“Take me to the doctors at the break of the day”.

...

Correct lyric:

“Take me through the darkness to the break of the day” from ABBA’s ‘Gimme Gimme Gimme’.

Black Friday Special: 90% Off Essential Small Business Training

If you own, run, or are thinking of starting a small business, read this.  It could save your livelihood; even your life.

Our friend and mentor, Peter Carruthers, writes:

In 1992, I closed a business. 18 months before then, I stood on a podium with the IBM and HP head honchos. My firm was voted the third-most admired IT supplier in South Africa. 

And then the bottom fell out of the market. 

Every personal surety I had ever signed came home to roost. I went from Hero to much less than Zero in months. I avoided bankruptcy because I owed so much money that no court would consider bankrupting me. I was so embarrassed that I spent the next 15 years finding out how I could have stopped it. And trying to understand what had happened, why it happened, but most of all – why I had been so stupid.

I soon discovered that I was not alone. Everyone was signing personal guarantees. They still are. You may have as well.

Once I realised how widespread this practice was, I began to teach people how to avoid personal guarantees. 

How to get them back. How to negotiate. How to not sign them in the first place.  It's 17 lectures totalling two hours, with transcripts.

Black Friday ends midnight tomorrow. You can get this course for R147 (and get R2 million worth of education)  instead of the regular R1497 price. 

  • You'll get instant access to the original course. 
  • You'll get the new lectures I already added.
  • You'll also get more lectures as I add them.  
  • And you can get answers to any questions you face.  

60,000 small business owners have already been through this course. The stories and the feedback have been wonderful and empowering. For me, the real win was that most students never signed a personal surety again.

If you are already enrolled, you will get the upgrades for free. 

Eskom has created an economic challenge in the country.  A few days ago I was talking to a friend in the banking industry. She told me that almost every loan applicant this year was so over-indebted they could never qualify for a loan. It feels like 1992 again, in the run-up to the elections, when everybody was running scared. Back then I felt like a crash-test dummy.

Some Comments this past month:

  • Mark: On the money Peter, Took your advice all those years ago , which kept me out trouble with the Banksters. Thank you for making it easy to follow. It's clean, clear and to the point.
  • Geoff: I like this method and it comes across with compelling authority of someone who has been there. I attended your seminar in Durban in the early days. It is essential knowledge for everyone, not only business owners.

Regards

Peter

PS   Please share this special R147 90%-off offer with someone who might want this knowledge. I would value it immensely. So would they if this knowledge could save them from the challenges I faced.

You know you're in South Africa when...

There are no potholes in William Nicol Drive anymore!

That is because they are all now in Winnie Mandela Drive instead.

Stand by for the grand plan to eliminate the problems at Transnet by renaming it to "Mandela Rail and Ports".

Do You keep Repeating the Same Actions in Excel?

Stop wasting precious time! Save an hour or more a week: Get your life back. How? Learn simple Macros: Record the repetitive action once, repeat it fast with a single keystroke whenever needed! This quick course will get you started fast: Read more here.

Immortality-Challenged:  Back to top

  • Fineline Wardrobe Solutions Showroom, Shop H05 in Hobart Grove Centre – Custom design, manufacture, fabrication and installation of sliding doors, internal organisers and wall display units.
  • Sorbet Nails, Shop 07C in Bryanston Shopping Centre – Nails, manicure, pedicure, artificial tips. Was Lower Level.
  • Sofisticlean Dry Cleaners, Shop 07B in Bryanston Shopping Centre – Dry cleaning city, tailoring, laundry, dyeing, shoe repairs, curtain cleaning.
  • Kids Emporium, Shop 37 in Bryanston Shopping Centre – Maternity, Nursery furniture, Children's Furniture, Travel Systems, Children's Wear, Gifts, Décor and Essentials. Was Upper Level.
  • Xpanda Pro Bryanston in Bryanston Shopping Centre – Securing homes, families and business, since 1974. Security Gates, Burglar Bars, Roller Shutters, Garage Doors, Driveway Gates & Balustrades.
  • Step Ahead Shoes, Shop 41 in Bryanston Shopping Centre – Leaders in Ladies’ Footwear, shoes, sandals. Was Upper Level.
  • The Daily Coffee Shop in Bryanston Shopping Centre – "Do something great today - drink good coffee". South African coffee franchise with manually prepared coffee. Was Upper Level.
  • Alpha Man, Shop 21/22 in Bryanston Shopping Centre – "Strong - Stylish". Men's shirts, ties, cravats. Now inside Leatherland. Was Upper Level.
  • St Tropez French Deli & Salon de Thé in Riverclub Shopping Centre – Speciality delicatessen: hams, Merquez & Toulouse sausages, pates. Cheeses, Take-away dishes. French pastries, French bread. Jams, mustard, vinegar, cream of chestnuts. Breakfast, salads, light lunches, baguettes, all gone.
  • Danilo's Ristorante Italiano, Shop 1 in Riverclub Shopping Centre – Restaurant: Italian cuisine and warm Italian hospitality.

Advertise in this Monthly e-Newsletter from only R192/month*!

4,421 subscribers, many of them dedicated Sandton Shoppers! e-mail us, or click here. (*Non-top banner for one year paid in advance, includes VAT, less discount)

The Burglar's Watchdog, a Fable

Once upon a time, there was a clever burglar. He got a litter of puppies, raised them and trained them. When they were grown, he went to houses he wanted to burgle and sold the dogs at a super-low price –“a real steal”!  Later, when he broke in, his former pets greeted him with wagging tails.

But one of the new owners had another watchdog too... The burglar was caught, and his scheme came to light.

In South Africa today we have various bodies that I call “The Burglar's Watchdog”. They purport to protect the public. But what they really do is shield their members against complaints from the public. Examples include the Law Society, the Broadcasting Complaints Commission, the now-defunct Advertising Standards Authority, and all Public Protectors except Adv. Thuli Madonsela.  It would appear, also the statutory Council for Debt Collectors.

Well, is the Council for Debt Collectors also a “Burglar's Watchdog”? I complained to them about Credit Intel harassing me over a debt that turned out to have no basis in reality.  Will they take any action against Credit Intel?  Not on your Nelly!  They have been so well captured that they are on first-name terms with Credit Intel's legal beagle.  We need them dismissed and replaced by people who actually carry out their mandate.

[by Rick Raubenheimer]

Thought for the Day:

The ANC is known to be corrupt and incompetent. But how much worse would things be if it were really competent at corruption?

A Note to Our Blood Donors

SANBS is implementing a new online system.  The next time you go to donate, you have to register on the system. Take your ID with you for this purpose (a driver's licence is not acceptable).
 

Genologix Supplements are South Africa’s solution to a longer, stronger, smarter life

We believe in the awesome power of prevention. Supplementing with the substances your body needs to thrive, means you can avoid many illnesses that need expensive and prolonged treatments. Correct supplements can keep you mentally and physically fit, well into your later years.

Choose Genologix to help you live Longer, Smarter and Stronger!

Save Up to 52% on Everything!, Massive Sale from Friday 24 November to 8am Mon 27 November. Plus get 5% off with coupon code "MEGAPLEX5".

Overheard at the Checkout

"How fit are you?"
"Very.  I have a six-pack!"
"Where? Show me!"
"When we get home –it's in the fridge."

Your name in print!  Would you like to contribute a shop- or restaurant review, a less obscure joke, or something else for this Newsletter?  Please e-mail us.  You will get full credit (unless you want anonymity).  Reach 4,421 shoppers and shop-owners: Advertise in this newsletter!  Editor: Rick Raubenheimer.


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Newsletter Issued 28 November 2023 – Page Last Updated: 23 November 2023. – Contact us.